Song Of Forgetting

DAN 

You don't remember any of this?

DIANA 

I should, right?

So after being admitted to the Best School Ever under Early Decision for awhile; the school finally sends me an email acknowledging the 500 dollar deposit (isn't that nice? half of a paycheck and only now do they say "OH! b-t-dubs thanks for half of your paycheck. I know you could've used that to pay rent or food or utilities but you gave it to us. that's sweet you guys. :)")   but they also left this ominous reminder:

"First, you should have withdrawn any and all other college and university applications you may have submitted and you should have withdrawn any other offers of admission you may have received.  If you have not yet done so, you must withdraw all other applications and notify any college or university that has admitted you, that you will not be attending and that you will be attending NYU instead.  This action must be taken immediately.  You should be aware that we take the Early Decision Agreement you signed very seriously.  Sadly, each year, a few students do not follow the spirit of the Early Decision Agreement and we are forced to revoke their admission when we learn that they have not withdrawn other applications or offers of admission."

which of course sent me into panic.

so just a few minutes ago I canceled admission to ASU and UoA both were my back up schools but since i got into the best school ever have become unneccesary but me (ever the pessimist) told ASU that I plan on enrolling in the future. 'cause you never know. 

I've also forgotten to register for my AP test so....I gotta get on that. 

i also have approximately 1 hundred hw assignments to finish so....BYE!

Replacement Girls

 (ladies make some noise if you wanna be my replacement)

so I've finally confirmed my decision to attend the best school ever. (yay!yay!yay!)
but now i feel like an outcast already. (boo!boo!boo!)
:(
     Now the most awesomest school isn't exactly known for its community and i kind of like that. Its not like UM or USC where the biggest thing is football and sports (aka like highschool). Infact the biggest thing at my school is acting. very artsy-fartsy. which i love (because I am artsy; and given the situation or proper bean burrito i can be fartsy) ; but people who are used to being outcasts and that are admittedly wierd do not usually make for good open-arms communities. I should know. I am apart of my local artsy-fartsies and although i am inviting most of my counter parts are not. Unless you are artsy you are not likely to be welcome. and since i couldnt apply for the acting school at the awesomest school ever{ :( } I am technically no longer apartsies of the artsies. So when i get to said school i'm joining every performing arts club available to me. and i also hope  that some of the shows will be open auditions (which I highly doubt there will be). but this is a only a little of what this post touches on.

     Roomies. What an uncomfortable situation. Not only does awesome school allow you to pick your own roomate (which is awesome if you have say a friend or acquaintance, but sucks if you're all alone *raises hand really high*) so my classes' facebook page is a free for all.
      "anybody need a roomate?"       "Looking for a roomate!"      "Hey we need another dude to complete our suite!"      "Any jewish girls need a roomate?"
     Oh yeah. they were kind of race specific. "Jewish? Asian? Jewish Asian?" those seem to be the most popular races. i even put up an ad of my own:

"Me: 18 BlkF, awesome
You: 18 F, also yet not as awesome as me (or we can be equal; your choice)

Let's be roomates in H***** :) hopefully, i mean. lol"

 

even though there were plenty of other adverts asking the same thing (in a much less funny and creative way) they had gotten at least 3 responses. all i got was a like. someone who likes my style but may not be interested in what i'm selling. (which is in a wierd way, me.) nobody my be interested in me. which makes me unhappy. and thats where i'm at. trying to charm people i don't know into a room with me. this must be what prostitutes feel like. hmmm. maybes if i added cookies to said room......

Make Up Your Mind

 (this is clarity)

So i went to the ostrich festival yesterday with some of my friends and a new one that i had met before but never really had a talk with and we talked. while at said festival there were the customary hecklers for the carnival games and we began talking about jobs where its your job to be annoying to others.and then i brought up the walmart greeters. and (unless you live in a really big city) they say "Hello! Welcome to Walmart!" and they give you a smiley face sticker :) but we ended up talking about when we were little they were enthusiastic and they didn't even ask if you wanted a sticker but now in 2011 they only say hi if you look at them and you have to ask for a sticker. and it made me think. so i told michael (cause that's my friend's name)
      "Michael...you know you being 20 and me being 18 were considered to be young by todays' standards but its weird to think how much has changed since we were little."
      "Yeah...."
And really a lot has changed in the world since 1993. Its just mind blowing to think about it.
      Here i am on the precipice of my senior year of highschool and i don't believe it. i'm about to move on the other side of the country too, which kind of scares me. only because when no one's there to watch how i live my life; who am i? for my whole life i've been contained in this box. "NO Kylah, you can't hang out with these people...NO Kylah, you CAN'T wear that.....etc." I've had no control of who was in my life or who was out of it or where i went or when i slept or ate and now my life is about to be an empty space. and i'm really deciding if i can handle that. I guess i'll be deciding for the next 6 years of my life if i can. without anybody but God's help.